


Not Like Him

by Misterdevere



Series: January Challenge [15]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Consensual Violence, Emotional Baggage, Internal Conflict, M/M, Past Abuse, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 16:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misterdevere/pseuds/Misterdevere
Summary: Prompt: Merlin likes things rough sometimes but Eggsy's past gets in the wayOf all the things Eggsy thought Dean would fuck up, his sex life was not one of them, and yet here he is mentally battling with himself mid-shag.





	Not Like Him

Eggsy was fucking Merlin hard and fast - they weren't like this often but they'd just finished up their biggest operation since Valentine and it was a huge rush for both of them. Eggsy had had a chance to sleep for a few hours, but Merlin had to coordinate the cleanup too, making it 52 straight hours on nothing but caffeine and adrenaline and he was only just hitting his comedown. The kind that made him need to lie back, spread his legs and let Eggsy use him in the worst way.

"Eggsy...hit me." He knew this was uncharted territory for them but he needed it.

"What?" Eggsy was hesitant but at least he didn't seemed horrified by the idea. If anything, maybe a bit...amused?

"Please. Right here," he tapped his left cheek.

"You're serious?" Merlin nodded quickly, and Eggsy let out a small laugh. Merlin felt it as much as heard it and it made him groan. "Babe, I'm not gonna hit ya."

"Eggsy please. I'm so close, I just need a little bit more. I need to come, please." Merlin never begged. And Eggsy could see in his face just how desperate he was so he did as he asked - more of a light slap than I hit, he didn't actually want to hurt him. "Again. Harder, like you mean it." Eggsy hesitated but did hit him again, hating himself, still holding back but harder than the first time. "Come on, Eggsy. I trained you, I know you can do better than that." Eggsy landed one last hit to his cheekbone and Merlin came, loud and messy, instantly.

Eggsy waited until Merlin came down a little and pulled out - he was barely hard anymore anyway. He grabbed a flannel from the bathroom and cleaned Merlin up. He stroked his cheek gently and made sure he hadn't caused any real damage. "Are you alright?"

"Fucking fantastic." Merlin had a stupid blissed out grin on his face. Eggsy stroked his cheek once more and gave him a weak smile before disappearing back to the bathroom, closing the door behind him and sitting against it. A minute or two later, Merlin was knocking at the door, "Eggsy? Is everything okay?" Of course it wasn't fucking okay, he'd just hit the man he loved. He didn't answer. "I'll just go and get us some water from downstairs, sweetheart, do you want anything else?" Still no answer. He heard Merlin sigh, "Right. I'll be back in a second."

By the time Merlin came back, Eggsy was already in bed, curled up tight and facing away from the door. Merlin put their water glasses down and slid under the covers behind him. He put his hand on Eggsy's shoulder but was immediately shrugged off. "What's wrong?" Again, Eggsy said nothing. "Eggsy, you're really starting to worry me. Please, talk to me."

Eggsy finally turned around. "Don't ever ask me to do that again. Don't make me into him."

Merlin didn't understand. "Into who?" Eggsy just looked down. It took Merlin a minute to figure out what was bothering him so much, but in his defence he had had the best orgasm of his life not even 10 minutes before. "Your step-father. I'm sorry, I didn't think. Eggsy, you're nothing like him. I asked you to do that because I trust you, because I know you'd never really hurt me. It's oka-"

"No, it's not okay." Eggsy sat up then, obviously eager to make himself understood. "I mean it, Merlin. I swore to myself I'd never do what he did, I'd never lay a finger on anyone that I loved, that loved me back, no matter what. Never again. Promise me."

"Eggsy..." Merlin was taken aback. He understood where he was coming from, he just didn't understand how anyone - including Eggsy himself - could compare Eggsy to Dean.

"Promise me." Eggsy was looking at him with an intensity that he'd never seen before, he didn't have to be a spy to see how much he meant it.

Merlin nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I promise. Never again." Sure, Merlin craved it sometimes, but it would never be worth forcing Eggsy to compromise his morals. He could live without it, especially if it meant never having to see that guilt in Eggsy's eyes again.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Eggsy. I might stop causing him pain one day but today is not that day.
> 
> Please please let me know what you think


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